Sometimes, Luan still hangs out at Ino's place.

 

It's been a few years since the boys all met. Back then, Ino was a high school senior, learning the ropes through life thanks to Misa's guidance and Jun's mistakes. Today, he's a college senior, finishing off his thesis little by little. Almost a full-fledged adult. Emphasis on 'almost'.

​

You see, he's still very much that young, inexperienced boy underneath all his academic achievements and career prospects. In other words…

​

He still can't seem to stand his ground. Especially not against Luan.

​

Luan, who lets himself into Ino's room at odd hours of the day, helping himself to whatever's in his fridge, lounging on Ino's bed, and getting cozy with the comforter. Luan, who most certainly IS dating Dan now (it took Ino a few months to accept it, but he's completely moved on by now), but still finds the need to make it everyone's problem. 

 

Luan, who sometimes comes over because he's angry.

​

"That fucking whore. Never does anything right. Never listens to me," he stormed into Ino's kitchen one evening, right as the boy was blowing on his spoonful of hot soup, spilling its burning content all over his fingers. Ino winces but urges Luan to sit down and continue anyway. "I just want him to fucking listen to me."

 

Other days, it's because he feels bad.

 

"I hit him again today," Luan said, quietly. He was on Ino's couch, eating yesterday's chow fan with a can of beer. "I didn't mean to hit him that hard. I've never seen him cry that much."

 

Ino doesn't meddle. He just lets him rant on and on, nodding along while he does his homework on his desk and eats some microwave ravioli. Some days it works, Luan gets shit off his chest, Ino has a white noise BGM lo-fi remix podcast, and then they say their goodbyes and go on their separate ways.

 

But sometimes, Luan gets desperate. For a distraction, maybe? Or to just blow off some steam, empty his mind to think? Whatever the reason, he'll yank Ino by the collar and straddle him in bed. 

​

How sexual. The boy usually thinks to himself. It's almost as if they'd do something if it weren't for Luan's fist getting in position high above his face 

 

"Say, kid. Can I hit you? Just once. It won't be too hard. You used to say you'd like that, yeah? Let's see if you're right."

 

At times like this, Luan gets a little crazy-eyed. His breathing speeds up, and sweat sheens the top of his forehead, eyes glazed over as the blood rushes to his head in a violent frenzy.

 

At first, it'd catch Ino off guard. He'd slowly raise his hand, shakily grabbing at where Luan still clawed at his shirt, and he'd gently peel it away. "No, thank you," He'd look him in the eyes, a little shaken. "I have a presentation tomorrow."

 

But now…

 

Luan's having one of those days again. It's fewer and farther between, but they've become more intense. Now he's holding Ino down by his wrists, knees digging into the soft meat of Ino's thighs, making him wince. He looks rabid this way, like a tiger starved.

 

"Tell me, kid," he put the boy's two wrists in one hand, the other reaching into his back pocket. "This time, I won't hit you. I'll cut you up a little, instead. What do you say?"

 

He's grown far too comfortable with the way this dangerous man makes him feel. There's heat pooling in his gut already. Ino doesn't even blink at him, body pliant and breaths slow.

 

"Just once," he says, quietly enough that only Luan can hear. "Just once, I'll let you."

 

"Not afraid anymore, huh? Have I gone soft?"

 

"No, I've just gotten harder."

 

Luan laughs. It's the first Ino's heard in a while.

 

"One day, I'll take you up on your offer."

 

Luan releases him and puts the knife back into its sheath. He gets up and makes for the door, stopping just shy of the frame.

 

"Good luck with your finals," Luan steps into his shoes.

 

"Don't hit Dan too hard," Ino sits up, watching him leave.

 

Luan waves over his back and walks out the door. 

 

As soon as the lock clicks into place, silence fills his apartment again. He collapses back into bed, staring at the ceiling.

 

Where did all this begin?

 

He's had a crush on Luan for the past 5 years. After Dan and Luan made it official, he's made sure to never cause them problems. At least, problems of his own making. 

 

But Luan still visits to blow off some steam. He never does anything sexual, though. The closest they'd touch is when they light each other's cigarettes, or when Luan is so blinded by rage he pins Ino down and makes some silly threats.

 

Silly. Ino laughs. He never thought he'd describe a killer's threats as silly. 

 

Maybe it's because Ino's silly, too.

 

For saying he's completely moved on from Luan.

 

Yet every time he takes a knife to his throat.

 

He has to fuck himself on his fingers till morning.

 

–

 

“Ah, Ino!” A voice calls from across the street. “Luan’s told me all about you helping him lately! Thanks a bunch, let me treat you some time!”

 

The sounds of the busy street muffle the voice, but Ino doesn’t have to look to know who it is. He waves a hand over his shoulder as he continues on his way.

 

“Lately,” Ino thinks, waiting for the train. “Lately, I’ve had to resort to calling people over.”

He scratches his head. “Maybe if I pay Kenji double, he’ll do knife play with me, too.”